This wasn't the first time, when I thought of writing, the situation arose a many times in my life, whenever i used to feel alone, depressed or sad, everytime i felt like writing but somehow or the other i used to get back the happiness in my life due to one or the other reason. But this time it was something different, the sadness which prevailed in me was changing the circumstances for me, it was making me feel alone, weak and depressed.
Somewhere deep down inside me, I had already quitted and I knew I can't continue to live like this without friends and happiness, and most importantly love in my life. While I was thinking of all this, my eyes fell upon the side table of my room which had a pen and notebook over the top and then i decided to write, yes to write about all the cases, changes and circumstances that took place during 1st semester of my college life.
Yes, many of us thinkwhat the hell a time frame of 6 months can do in anyone's life, I was of the very same mentality as well, unless and until few drastic changes occured in my life. The circumstances that I confronted made it difficult for me to survive in such a place for 6 months(or a semester) and i began to think how am i going to spend four more years of my graduation in a place like this.
Initially everything used to work fine, college life was going and flowing as a college life should. New people, new friends, new places and a whole new level of fun, as we say the college life actually began. And with that smooth college life comes love in most of the cases and so was the scenario that happened with me, I was on the verge of my very first relationship. The bond between her and me was beautifully growing up.Every moment seemed like to be a fairy tale, but then something happened that reinforced to change my smooth going life and yes it was the low graded mentality of few teachers who mistook the childishness in me to the rascality/disobedience. MY whole mistake was that I was trying to create a fun environment in class and I didn't realised when that prank changed into hurting someone's emotions. Yes that was the mistake I did, but I was punished and blamed as if I committed a crime, (PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CRIME AND MISTAKE.) and all the day I thought did I actually deserved that?
And,And,And...It was just the beginning,As goes by the saying ,"Let the college life begin, people will show their true colours." And this was something that I witnessed as well, two of my besties took my girl away, created misunderstandings, never tried to solve issues and left me all alone and miserable. The one who used to call me brother, took my girl away and the group which I created initially never bothered to ask me again and left me all alone.
But as we know, when destiny closes one door, it opens another, so was the change that came in my life and I got new guy friends and I began roaming with them, had new level of fun, life was full of excitement once again and it seemed that life was getting back on track. But as we know, that problems don't go back so easily if it has stricked your door. And then because of that group which left me long back, issues came again in my presesnt life. I used to believe in the philosophy that 'Prevention is better than cure.',so I refrained myself to speak about those issues with them and my guy friends(new group). And I never came to know about how that prevention turned into misunderstanding and my new friends also left me all alone.
Then I realised about the balance, yes the rational balance created by God that elders used to tell about, that "You will cry/tear apart for equal time for which you have smiled/laughed." And what next, I was a boy with weak heart, actually very weak. So I started putting up a plastic smile on my face to cover all the unhappiness, sadness and depression in me. But the fake smile or happiness doesn't prevail for long or it is not enough to entertain people around.
Might be now was the time, when God thought of me with consideration and yes God did something fantastic this time, he sent a jewel for me, yes an angel in the mask of my best friend forever who actually served the purpose of an angel or a magician in my life, he turned all my unhappiness into happiness, sorrows into joys. With his arrival, I regained the reason of happiness in my life. Although our choices aren't a much like, he's actually reverse of me, a year younger to me, likes to stay home and I love to roam everywhere. He's a little too nerdy and I stay away from books. He likes to stay reserved and I am open to all, but all I can say is that I LOVE YOU BROTHER and I am happy just because you are with me.
Thanks for being there always. This college life is just incomplete and impossible without you. <3
Somewhere deep down inside me, I had already quitted and I knew I can't continue to live like this without friends and happiness, and most importantly love in my life. While I was thinking of all this, my eyes fell upon the side table of my room which had a pen and notebook over the top and then i decided to write, yes to write about all the cases, changes and circumstances that took place during 1st semester of my college life.
Yes, many of us thinkwhat the hell a time frame of 6 months can do in anyone's life, I was of the very same mentality as well, unless and until few drastic changes occured in my life. The circumstances that I confronted made it difficult for me to survive in such a place for 6 months(or a semester) and i began to think how am i going to spend four more years of my graduation in a place like this.
Initially everything used to work fine, college life was going and flowing as a college life should. New people, new friends, new places and a whole new level of fun, as we say the college life actually began. And with that smooth college life comes love in most of the cases and so was the scenario that happened with me, I was on the verge of my very first relationship. The bond between her and me was beautifully growing up.Every moment seemed like to be a fairy tale, but then something happened that reinforced to change my smooth going life and yes it was the low graded mentality of few teachers who mistook the childishness in me to the rascality/disobedience. MY whole mistake was that I was trying to create a fun environment in class and I didn't realised when that prank changed into hurting someone's emotions. Yes that was the mistake I did, but I was punished and blamed as if I committed a crime, (PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CRIME AND MISTAKE.) and all the day I thought did I actually deserved that?
And,And,And...It was just the beginning,As goes by the saying ,"Let the college life begin, people will show their true colours." And this was something that I witnessed as well, two of my besties took my girl away, created misunderstandings, never tried to solve issues and left me all alone and miserable. The one who used to call me brother, took my girl away and the group which I created initially never bothered to ask me again and left me all alone.
But as we know, when destiny closes one door, it opens another, so was the change that came in my life and I got new guy friends and I began roaming with them, had new level of fun, life was full of excitement once again and it seemed that life was getting back on track. But as we know, that problems don't go back so easily if it has stricked your door. And then because of that group which left me long back, issues came again in my presesnt life. I used to believe in the philosophy that 'Prevention is better than cure.',so I refrained myself to speak about those issues with them and my guy friends(new group). And I never came to know about how that prevention turned into misunderstanding and my new friends also left me all alone.
Yes, this was the most depressed situation of my life, I have ever been through. I was already feeling miserable of the fact that a teacher pointed on my character and my upbringing for no reason, my group ditched me, my brother took my girl away and now these guy friends also left me all alone. All these changes in my life were making me weak and affecting me mentally and emotionally. I was loosing upon my mental stability and I was getting depressed day by day. The feeling of death often arose in me. And this was not just the end, if something fishy happened in their lives, those people used to think and blame me as I was the culprit. They made fun of me and made me feel embarrassed in every possible way they could.
Then I realised about the balance, yes the rational balance created by God that elders used to tell about, that "You will cry/tear apart for equal time for which you have smiled/laughed." And what next, I was a boy with weak heart, actually very weak. So I started putting up a plastic smile on my face to cover all the unhappiness, sadness and depression in me. But the fake smile or happiness doesn't prevail for long or it is not enough to entertain people around.
Might be now was the time, when God thought of me with consideration and yes God did something fantastic this time, he sent a jewel for me, yes an angel in the mask of my best friend forever who actually served the purpose of an angel or a magician in my life, he turned all my unhappiness into happiness, sorrows into joys. With his arrival, I regained the reason of happiness in my life. Although our choices aren't a much like, he's actually reverse of me, a year younger to me, likes to stay home and I love to roam everywhere. He's a little too nerdy and I stay away from books. He likes to stay reserved and I am open to all, but all I can say is that I LOVE YOU BROTHER and I am happy just because you are with me.
Thanks for being there always. This college life is just incomplete and impossible without you. <3
Well written, way to go!
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
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